Sometimes i don't know why i am so nice to people who do not deserve it. I feel like I'm always being taken advantaged of. I hate it. But what i hate the most is that i can't change who i am. Call me names, i don't care. Push me to the lowest point you can it won't matter. Nothing can put me back to the dark place except myself. I guess that's why people take advantage, because they think that since I'm so nice and such an optimist, nothing bad will happen. But you're wrong. Everyone has their own little dark space in their mind they go to when they can't take it anymore. I go there when I'm stressed or just needing to get away from it all. That's why i daydream and write. So i can some form of my sanity and handle everything on my own. Maybe its because I'm an only child that i do everything on my own. I can't help it. I never wanna feel like I'm burdening someone with my issues. Yet i listen to everyone else and they say the same thing over and over again. It gets annoying but i know they have no one else to listen to them. But if i do it people complain or they seriously dont get it. *sighs* i can never win can i?
My mood: somewhat indifferent
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Enough is enough I'm tired of this madness.
Everywhere I look there's nothing but sadness.
People wanna see the down side to everything.
They never wanna see the up side cuz of their negativity.
I'm sick of all this drama and bullshit.
No matter what I always try to avoid it.
But somehow it always reaches me.
So I end up being caged in wishing I could be free.
Nobody knows what I'm going through or how I'm feeling.
They only care about themselves and the lies they keep believing.
If someone looks at me they can't see my pain or my grief.
If I tell them I'm screwed up in the head they stare in disbelief.
Yeah call me crazy, I know I'm going in a downward spiral.
Bet you won't believe me if i say i used to be suicidal.
Yea I'm dysfunctional so what?
It's not like you actually give a fuck.
Oh I'm sorry am I hurting your feelings?
Are you actually catching the hidden meanings?
Perhaps I'm delusional who knows?
Good thing I don't let it show.
You can think what you want cuz it doesn't matter.
Maybe cuz I'm psycho like the mad hatter.
Previous Postsjust rambling, posted February 20th, 2013
I miss my uncle, posted February 18th, 2013
Mad Hatter, posted February 17th, 2013
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